Tomorrow I’m 18….that means i’m legal…but I still have to watch my toes…
Still I’m excited because it means I can do certain things without parent permission…ei drive far away…
also does Eightteen have to t’s or is it Eighteen?
O/.\o Itachi can’t spell….and neither can I
#i wonder how many times they did this scene #and the director or moffat or gatiss kept saying #no look at his mouth MORE #like really STARE #just make it OBSCENE #And Benedict try and make it like you’re fucking him with your eyes #you’re about two seconds pinning him to that wall okay #GOT IT? ACTION
Agreed!
Being confused is something I rarely deal with. The first time I dealt with it truly head-on was one year ago when I began to think about being trans. In my early YouTube videos, which sadly no longer exist due to my parents making me take them down, I made it seem like the second I found out what being an ftm was I was like, “That it! That’s me!” It however was not like that. For the first day it was. That night I didn’t sleep and kept thinking about it. Piling the things I identified with to the things I didn’t. At first it was hard because I was only going off of what one trans guy was saying. So I ventured off looking for others. As I watched other peoples videos I began to understand that being trans even ftm is the same for every tguy. I struggled with that for a long time. I would go along then realize there is something I do that guys don’t do and would start to panic thinking that just because of this I’m not this or that.
It took a while nearly this full year to remember that just because I’m a tguy doesn’t mean I’m not able to be me. For the last five or so year I’ve been big into the goth thing and wearing heavy dark makeup. For the last year I avoided heavily and shunned any feelings of wanting to put my eyeliner on and black eyeshadow.
I remember last year it really bothered me during Hallowe’en, my favorite holiday, because I didn’t feel like I would be allowed to put face paint on and be a zombie geisha. Hallowe’en last year was only about a month after I came out to my friends and they weren’t fully on board yet. Leaving me to feel like I needed to prove my manhood to them. Something I now find slightly ridiculous though still play the man card game.
Where am I going with this? I don’t really know but when I had my Adam Lambert day last Sat and put on my makeup giving in to the part of me that was begging the last by of confusion melted away.
So I like wearing make up from time to time! I’m also mostly gay! And when I’ve transitioned fully I look forward to being able to dress in drag sometimes, and cosplay as tomboy characters! Does this make me less of a manly man, yes! But the thing is I’m not nor never claimed (seriously at least) to be. It doesn’t stop me from identifying as a male and being trans. It doesn’t take away from my identity! If any thing it adds to it! It makes me, me! A person I’m finally happy, and only a little confused, to be!
I had an Adam Lambert day yesterday. And for some strange reason felt like wearing heavy eyeliner…All I can say is that it was October…the month of costumes and whatnot! In my opinion I didn’t look very femine and my friends said I looked like a goth guy…which I kinda am…so it worked! I felt happy and still felt like the guy I know I am. Which is good because I’ve kinda missed having Racoon eyes. Oddly enough after I put the eyeliner on my rents got really angry… makes me confused xD
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like “Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?” or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Naruto (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Neji Hyuga or Itachi Uchiha is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab separators in your binders with doodles/love notes/confessions of love/any other Naruto related thing you can think of about Naruto or the Naruto characters. Crazy is when you can open up Naruto and know exactly which part you’re at by reading one word. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing’s funny. Crazy is when you have OSD (Obsessive Sasuke Disorder). Crazy is when you think someone is actually a Naruto character, and go and ask them for your autograph, then the person looks at you like your insane! Crazy is if you tell everyone you know that Sasuke and Itachi are your brothers and you can shift genders!
((Proof that even in 7th grade I knew…and was crazy about Naruto…xD))
September 16th 2011, first time trying on fully male clothing ever. This was in Old Navy, and though I was nervous as hell I was happier than I have been in a long time. Having no money and no way to sneak the clothing home I wasn’t able to get anything. Only thing is this pic. I woke up this morning and thought it was a dream. That’s how happy it made me to be able to just try on clothes that I want to wear! And of course I have to give a huge thank you to my three friends who were there supporting me and picking out clothes for me. Example the Fedora lol. Jess, Ash, and Erin you three are the best. Always standing up for me and calling me Caleb and he even when it gives us all weird looks! I love you guys!
Crying. Never forget 9/11.
I’m crying so hard. Oh my god.
(Source: bridgetdevlin)
So today was 9/11. Of course I cried. It was a horrible day that saddens many. I had a second cousin who died in the north tower. I never got to know him since I was eight when the towers fell. And I never will. The fact that those towers fell shakes me. I can’t remember when I was six and stood on the top floor of the north tower. I looked out a window and felt like I could see the world. It was a amazing and something I’ll never feel again in NYC.
However this same day I also cheered it is also My Chemical Romance (MCR)’s anniversary. And I love them.
Conflict much I know!
Hi there world. My name is Caleb. I'm 17 FTM T-boy. Pre T Pre Op. Pre anything really. I am out to my friends and my family sorta. I'm Pansexual though I favor men. I am awesome person. I like cosplaying, playing video games, singing, acting, and playing soccer. I am currently a blue belt in Karate. 
